Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Tired

Work has been draining. Looking at 2 screens for 8 hours (at least) really strains the eyes. Looking at the team inbox kills my mind. I leave the office everyday thinking if I've done everything right. Sometimes I worry that when I get to the office the next day, some big-shot would have emailed me to tell me that I've made a mistake.

Guess I'm really not that comfortable with my job responsibilities yet. I don't get stressed out but there're signs that I'm bothered. I've been clenching my teeth more, my jaws are tensed, I get tensed, and I don't sleep well.

Everyone goes through a phase like this when they start on their new job right? Maybe I'm just taking a longer time to settle in, cuz there's always something new that I have to learn and act on. But it's so mentally tiring.

I'm not giving up yet of course. I'm just saying, you know. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one feeling this way, and I don't want to be the only one feeling like that. I want someone to understand exactly what I'm going through. I just want to feel better. I want to feel like I can cope.

I want my mind to be cut off from work after work. But I can't stop thinking. Worrying.

Fuck. I think I'm stressed. This is so unneccessary.

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janet at 9:35 PM