Sunday, September 21, 2008

Bobo

My dad brought home a stray puppy. She was named "Bobo" by my sister. The poor little thing couldn't even walk properly cuz she's so small and weak. Her stomach was bloated and huge in comparison to her puny body.

Was it mean of me to refuse to adopt Bobo? I went through my responsibilities and I cannot afford another dog. It's unfair when my siblings want a dog and not take care of it. I admit I have been neglecting Gougou cuz I'm out 90% of the time and even when I'm home, he'll be too tired to entertain me.

I considered the cost of bringing stray Bobo to the vet to treat her skin (she had some black spots on her body and according to the groomer, there are pus in them), the amount of dog food needed, the time needed to train the new puppy and to care for it to nurse it back to health, I really cannot do it. And my siblings as I know them too well, are not responsible enough. We're lucky gougou is already well-trained by his previous owner, and there's not much trouble taking care of him. Bobo will be a big headache. I don't want to say yes to my dad and end up being responsible for Bobo when I don't have the time & money to be.

This may make me seem cruel. But I just cannot do it. She was crying and yelping when my dad brought her away from us. He called me and asked me if I was serious about not keeping her. I couldn't stand the poor dog's cries but I kept telling myself that I will not be doing the right thing if I agree to keep her. I think I'm selfish but I have can come up with all the reasons that I'm not.

Bobo needs someone who can give her the care she deserves. I know Bobo has been adopted already. Hope she grows up well.



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janet at 8:47 PM

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Overcoming laziness

After ditching my running shoes for 9 months, I finally wore them again. With a weak will, and weaker lungs and legs, I went for a jog around my estate. Aimed to cover 3km which is ambitious considering the fact that I have not exercised for a long period of time. Managed to only cover 2.5km.. I just couldn't carry on..

Hopefully when I start jogging with Veron in 2 weeks time, I can run 4km without feeling like there are lead tied around my legs.

Time to shed the fats and hopefully some weight!

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janet at 10:58 PM

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Bliss

For what has been close to a year, I have learnt a lot about myself by simply being with him and learning things about him. Things I never thought I could do, events that I never thought I could get past, emotions I thought I will never feel, history that I never thought I could accept - I did, I got past, I felt and I accepted.

I don't know why but I just feel like blogging on this topic this after seeing Veron's comments on bliss. Cuz cynics may think that whatever I am feeling right now is just something short-term and that bliss will go away sooner or later. To be realistic, no one really knows whether this is happily ever after. But I know it takes a lot of effort and accepting each other's imperfections. Whatever it is, Veron, I hope you can feel this way for a long long time..

I've learnt that it takes a lot to feel bliss. It's not something that comes easily like receiving romantic gestures, hearing sweet words, or being lovey-dovey-mooshy-mushy - these are the feelings of being on a "honeymoon". Don't mistake that for bliss, because bliss is so much more.

I cannot begin to describe blissfulness but I know that to feel blissfully in love, it takes a lot of honesty, love, acceptance, giving more than receiving, sacrifices, patience, compromise, and a common destination. Bliss is a lasting feeling.

Being in this r/s has taught me a lot. I feel like I've matured and really, I have never once imagined myself like this. It's so crazy when I think about us sometimes especially when the surrealness creeps in. Honestly, I have never ever felt so alive.

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janet at 6:14 PM