Monday, November 29, 2004


babyblues

janet at 4:22 PM

went for my grandmother's birthday celebration dinner at this restaurant at yokoso last evening. we booked a room equipped with ktv. there were 3 tables full of my family and relatives. very very noisy crowd. plus the uncle i don't really like cuz he thinks he's damn smart and knows all the goddam thing about technology when he doesn't, juz kept singing old hokkien songs on ktv. he sang alright, i juz don't like him. ah po was very happy last night =) food was alright. the nicest thing there was the chilli and the dessert (or ni, aka yam stuff). then my mum sent me and my couz back to hall. cept that my couz stays in ntu. she drove to ntu first... and it's freaking far man. nice catching up with my couz though.

i found out one of my nephews, clifford, had an operation on his eyeball. cuz his brother, bryan, poked his eye with a pen. he had stitches above his pupil. and he's only in nursery or K1 lor. bryan is like, K2? the power brothers, andrew, bryan and clifford, are my 3 most notorious nephews lor. tmd, follow the mother and grandmother. poor thing leh. i can't imagined being poked in the eye, and have stitches ON the fucking eyeball. ouch...

celebrated hh's birthday in the kitchen last night. of coz we grabbed the chance to suan him as usual. placed 3 rubber duckies on the tiramisu cake that charmaine made. cuz hh likes ducks =) or is a duck. ah anyway, i'm sure he likes those rubber duckies. he's got new green underwear as well!! that's his favourite colour. lol. anyway, hope u enjoyed urself last nite and like ALL the pressies u've gotten.

today, serm did an unbelievable stunt at lunch today. juz cuz he was dared to. aaron, hh and gerald dared him to throw aaron's chicken mayo croissant from the table down to the lower level of the bizad canteen. tmd, we never thought that he would really do it. and when he did, all of us were stunned. and so aaron lost his half eaten croissant, and hh and gerald paid him for it. they agreed earlier that if serm dared to throw the croissant, they'll pay aaron. ya, so, everyone kept to their promises, and serm was like the darest guy then. tsktsktsktsktsktsk. then there was this guy sitting alone beside our tables, and he had this wtf-the-guy-juz-threw-a-croissant-down look on his face. while the croissant took flight, some of the lettuce dropped from mid air and some landed on hh's hair. it was kinda funny. but, it wasn't all that funny after u think about it. respect.

had general biology paper after lunch. it was pretty difficult. but thank goodness i s/u-ed it. that means, it's either i pass it or fail it and i'll get my modular credits cept that i won't get any grade and it won't be included in my CAP. so, if i do badly, my CAP won't get pulled down. wanted to leave 15 min earlier b4 the end of paper so that we could all catch an empty bus back to hall but couldn't. i'll pass it. i think.

last paper tmr!! the killer MA paper. as of now, i'm almost halfway through. doubt i'll finish revising tonight. i hope i don't do so badly. if i do, i hope the cohort goes down with me.

janet at 3:57 PM

Sunday, November 28, 2004


HH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAROLD HO ENG CHEONG!!

janet at 1:24 AM

Saturday, November 27, 2004

finance paper was i-don't-even-know-how-to-describe-it.

mcqs were tough. wasted too much time on it.
structured were also time-consuming. but they weren't really difficult.

i couldn't finish the paper. i knew how to do the final question, but there juz wasn't time to finish it. knowing how to do something -financial- is rare, for me. i just needed more time.

i wish i was better at stuff like math. i only needed another 5 min.

left the exam hall feeling like shit. came back and took a nap, and dreamt of it. woke up and thought what the hell. leave me alone. so i went back to sleep again. and so it was a 3 hour nap.

i have a killer MA paper to study for. again, it's gonna be full of those stuff i'm not good at i.e. math. almost halfway through revising the lectures and tutorials. but i haven't been reading them continously. so i can't remember much about the topics i covered. it's a closed book paper. i'm screwed.

should've studied geography. and be a volcanist or something.

but i will get through this.

janet at 3:54 PM

Friday, November 26, 2004


self entertainer

janet at 4:00 PM


gary jules

janet at 4:00 PM

true by ryan cabrera

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me


You might think I don't look
But deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you


I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster


I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
I'ts time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true


You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move


I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?


I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true


I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true


I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

janet at 1:18 PM

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

i've changed countless printers. from a HP deskjet (3 years at home) to a Canon s300 (2 years at home + hall) and Canon S200 (1 year, brought it over from home to hall cuz that fucking S300's printerhead spoiled) and i just bought a Canon IPxxx to replace the S200 that i took from home. AND THEN THIS S200's printerhead's spoiled. I CANT PRINT BLACK when i tried to print out my stupid finance tutorial answers. even though my black ink cartridge still has ink. initially i thought i ran out of black ink, so i went to buy a new cartridge. when it printed nothing from the new cartridge, i knew this S200's a goner. tmd. WHY!? why do my printers always break down on me? my mum's gonna scold me i know. i juz keep spoiling printers. and i merely print ALL my notes from my printer what. why does my printerhead spoil faster than everybody else's S200 printerheads?? HUH HUH HUH?? sian. i hate to be scolded when it's not my fucking fault. tmd. fucking canon.

janet at 11:51 PM

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

just when i am feeling confident about tmr's paper after i finished my revision, the past year papers had to make me feel like i don't know much. the feeling is like shit i swear. the true/false and mcqs are so tricksy. and it doesn't really help that marks get deducted for wrong answers. ARGH!! i need a punching bag!! i don't think i'll be able to sleep tonight. i can't sleep when i'm worried. and now i'm worried about the exam tmr. fucking hell. i detest this feeling.

and i can't concentrate on continuing the past year papers now that i'm feeling this way. fucking irritable now. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll go try and calm myself down.

janet at 10:25 PM

hm.. think it's an appropriate time to recall what mr thoh, my sec sch math teacher, told the class before our O levels. he said "u juz do ur best, and let god do the rest." =)

but, what if u dun believe in god?

then u're screwed la.

spinning: here's to the night by eve 6

janet at 1:29 AM

Monday, November 22, 2004


that's my new identity. i make myself laugh.

janet at 5:59 PM


jellybean sucks... nah... i love jellybeans

janet at 5:58 PM

my revision is gg real slow. but, i'm not stressed out. yet.

went for a short jog after a nap juz now and i'm feeling refreshed. i hope i can concentrate and do more revision tonight.

everyone needs a cry sometimes. when all the fucked up stuffs have accumulated to the point where u can't take it anymore, juz let it all out. cry. it's like releasing all the worries and stress u've been keeping inside, and they'll all go away with your tears.

i've cried a few times this sem already (minus all the tearing from watching sentimental movies), for reasons i don't wish to remember. but that's cuz i don't speak my heart to anyone. i'm not comfortable of confiding. i tend to suppress anger, hurt and sadness. and then wallow in self pity. ya, i think that's it. self pity. that's the problem with me. but then again, is that really a problem?

anyway, my point is, it's really no big deal to cry. so cry. let it all out.

janet at 1:04 AM

Saturday, November 20, 2004

juz came back from a prata dinner at the prata-place-along-west-coast-that's-beside-this-salon-which-a-huge-H-A-I-R-sign-which-i-went-a-few-weeks-back-with-huejuli&velle. =) a whole big bunch of us were being rowdy as usual eating our nice pratas and drinking our dinosaurs with lotsa milo powder and that lovely cherry. nothing exciting happened... but it was a good dinner =) usual hh-suanings and usual GEP-suanings and usual hatta-said-the-wrong-stuffs-again. =)

it's a saturday night.. and i don't think i'm gonna study much. cuz there's 2 episode of this new channel 8 9pm drama starring zoe tay that i've gotta watch before monday. and there's also the new episode of OC. and there's also smallville. it's gonna be a bz saturday night juz staring at the lappie.

anyway, rewind a bit. last night, went on an impromptu midnight movie at plaza sing to watch
The Incredibles with serm, aaron and jerm. the show is hiliarious! it is now officially my favourite cartoon movie. not that i have any favourite in the first place. let's see... i've watched tarzan, the lion king, the rugrats, finding nemo... and i can't remember anymore. the incredibles, IS DAMN NICE LAR! some of the emotions and actions in the movie, is sooooo human. it's like, so reflective of what we do. if u get what i mean.

i am not gonna fall! i'm gonna stand tall... not gonna fall... not gonna fall...

spinning: worn me down by rachael yamagata

janet at 10:18 PM

Friday, November 19, 2004

http://213.186.36.10/~al/alstudio/cv/en.htm

http://www.nike.com/usa/nikesphere/

haha.. enjoy the links.. freaking funny =)

janet at 8:21 PM

Thursday, November 18, 2004

i'm not feeling nervous. it's weird. gonna have my first paper in 9 hours time. biz comm is a module that i can read the notes 10 times and i can still screw the paper up. (i read the notes twice) but, why am i not feeling nervous? i'm not even excited. maybe cuz it's an open-book paper. maybe cuz i'm complacent that i scored quite for my letter writing even though my letter was flawed? maybe cuz i think my group report is damn good? maybe cuz I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HAVING MY FIRST PAPER SO SOON?

really, the stress-effect isn't quite there.

but, same thing. i am always unable to fall asleep the night before my first paper. and i won't have a good night sleep. i'll juz keep waking up. argh.

my eyes are tired. my mind's wandering.

biz comm. my only hope for an A this sem. but... i shouldn't set any targets. cuz it's upsetting when u dun get what u aim for.

so, good night.

it will be a good day tmr. c'mon. make it a good day.

janet at 1:02 AM

Monday, November 15, 2004

oh... i juz wanna add:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZIXIN!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUJACK!!
they won't see this... but... ya... i hope they have a happy birthday =)
and.. again.. really really thank all u haisians and a09-ers who remembered... =)

janet at 11:34 PM

i'm no longer a teen.

thanks jy for the surprise visit and i love the card and the strawberry cake =)

thanks to everyone who smsed or msned me with birthday greetings =) especially yanzi... was so touched when i saw her msg.

my best friend from pri sch msged me on friendster too... she remembered =)

thanks to my hall friends for the nice windbreaker, the cake, and the effort to wrap and drag that fat guy up =) but no, i didn't really like that part of the present! hahaha =)

had a really great dinner with my family. i mean, the food was great. the bill was outrageous. everyone wasn't v happy when they saw the bill. oh well... they spent a lot of money raising me up. and still, spending a lot of money, raising me. love u pple lots (if ah ju or ah qing secretly read my blog, i love u guys too! i juz dun show it...)

janet at 11:23 PM

Sunday, November 14, 2004

dad: ta ta... r u inside?

jan: ah

d: bathing ar?

j: ah

d: i want to take my pants leh. i need to go to work liao.

j: then how?

d: aiyah nvm la. i wear berms then.

--------------------

my mum called back to ask my grandmother to wake me up. it was already 4.15 pm and i was suppose to be prepared in half an hour's time cuz she'll be back to pick me up to bring me to my maternal grandparents' place. so i went to the shower and that conversation took place.

i dunno what else to say. it's true.


janet at 7:14 PM

i was reading the first month of my blog archive. there's this entry about this particular HSS regular. yea, the HSS regular is back. but she's already sick of going to the library everyday when she wakes up. she hates the routine of waking up, knowing there's a long day ahead, and still wake up anyway cuz exams are really near. and so she has to sit in the freezing lib for at least 5 hours b4 heading back to hall to eat crap dinner. sometimes she rests for 1 or 2 hours before heading back to the lib, or to the uncomfortable study benches in bizad and mug for another 3 hours at least. then she goes back to that tiny orange-furnitured room to seek the solace that is hardly there at all.

and this cycle repeats.

it's almost unbearable.

fucking depressed sometimes.

i'm glad i'm home. the only right place i should be now.

janet at 2:47 AM

Saturday, November 13, 2004


i dunno.. but i really like hammie... =)

janet at 11:12 PM

janet, grossly misunderstood.

janet at 5:02 AM


are u my brother?

janet at 4:54 AM

Friday, November 12, 2004


i could drown in those eyes... *in love* =)

janet at 7:46 PM

tired.

janet at 10:01 AM


jensen ackles... im in love =)

janet at 1:22 AM

Thursday, November 11, 2004


he managed to catch up anyway. but he lost me 26-25!! hahahahhahahahha IM GOOD! ok no im not. im juz fucking tyco. Posted by Hello

janet at 1:48 AM


and then i got all the mines around the diagonal line TYCO-ly!! check out the conversation man. that guy's super pek cek. LOL Posted by Hello

janet at 1:45 AM


and then gerald opened up a huge space while trying to continue the diagonal streak. BAD LUCK! LOL. Posted by Hello

janet at 1:29 AM


minesweeper with gerald. i pulled a diagonal-play stunt. super tyco. janet 7 - 2 gerald! Posted by Hello

janet at 12:26 AM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

the thing that will stop driving a mind crazy is understanding.

where is the understanding?

i juz read this from my biz comm notes on interpersonal communication skills:
Sometimes we can truly develop more acceptance of another person's behaviour, but often a pseudoacceptance develops in the top of our mind while the irritation continues to grow in the depth of our gut.

how true.

i like sentences like the one above because it's written so well that i can never eloquently write or say something like that that is so right.

i know it. i feel it. i juz don't know how to express it.

spinning: glad by tyler hilton

You can't say what you want or
Take what you want or
Rest and wake anyway that you want
You said your life couldn't get much better
Well, here I am, and aren't you glad.

janet at 1:40 AM

Sunday, November 07, 2004

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIZI!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAIFENG!!

u both turned twenty!!

=)

janet at 1:02 PM

Saturday, November 06, 2004

remember an entry about 2 weeks ago about it's not juz an coincidence that everytime when i'm using the toilet, my dad needs to use it as well?

IT IS NOT JUZ A COINCIDENCE. i think our chinese characters clash in the usage of toilet aspect.

i was lying on my parents' bed waiting for my mum to finish cleaning the toilet so i could brush my teeth. and when she's out, my dad walked in and said he needed to crap urgently. and he needed to shower too. ARGH. so i'm waiting to brush my stupid teeth cuz all my toiletries are in that toilet. wait wait wait wait wait.

groggy from 16 hours of sleep. but i'm contented =)

janet at 1:30 PM

Thursday, November 04, 2004

OM presentation went ok. im not very impressed by myself cuz i was merely reading out from my paper and didn't know what exactly i was presenting cuz im not familiar with the topic. anyway, i was monotonous as usual. and i thought i wouldn't be nervous. but as always (should've expected this), i got nervous and i wasmore conscious trying to maintain a firm voice than presenting. i dunno. i've presented so many times, but this still happens to me. argh. i should learn public speaking and build up my confidence.
it's been raining everyday. juz now i walked back barefoot cuz my footwear kept making me slip. it was disgusting to step on all the mashy ground, but it's an experience man. like, who has walked barefoot back from biz foyer back to sheares? not many =)
there's gonna be good luck supper tonight. blk comm's last supper this sem. woohooooooo. and then it's full force mugging for everyone i guess. i'll relax this weekend at home. gonna sleep and watch tv a lot, and enjoy myself b4 i give my life to the books when i return to hall next week. i'll try la. juz have to gain the momentum - and this is the difficult part. the amount of stuff i have to revise, it scares me.
my blood will be flowing with caffeine the next 3 weeks. i foresee that already.
spinning: gravity by embrace

janet at 4:36 PM

there's always another wound to discover

spinning: everything you want by vertical horizon

janet at 2:17 AM

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Soul by Matchbox 20
Hang out my window and over your head
Stare at your feelings to see where they end
You're waiting here for someone else to break you from the inside
You've been so composed
But we all know there's always something tearing you apart
It's always so much longer than you counted on
And it hits you so much harder than you thought
But you don't worry you don't worry
Cuz you got soul
You're so heavy you're so misunderstood
And I spent all my wishes wishing times were good
When I still could wait around here
For someone else to take me past the good side
You have been here so long
We all know there's always something tearing you apart
It's always so much longer than you counted on
And it hits you so much harder than you thought
But you don't worry you don't worry
Cuz darling, you've got so much soul
Darling you've got so much soul
There's always something tearing you apart
It's always so much longer than you counted on
And it hits you so much harder than you thought
Than you ever thought it would
But you don't worry you don't worry
Cuz you don't worry you don't worry
Cuz you don't worry you don't worry
Cuz you got soul

janet at 7:44 PM

Monday, November 01, 2004

i want so much to pop the flu pills and drink the cough syrup but i'll be drowsy. argh. sucks.

i want to get well but i can't.

what is happening man.

take care everyone. dun fall sick. exams r juz ard the corner. too near the corner in fact. =/

janet at 10:41 PM

janet 1 - 26 serm

broken my record at minesweeper for getting juz 1 mine. wah lau, i started the game, then one whole bloody patch appeared and serm juz kept mining non stop till like 20 odd. and i got 1 mine. then serm went on on his mining streak and got like 25. and then he wanna play tyco, so he picked one spot out of nowhere, and he didn't get a mine. THANK GOODNESS. so it's my turn, and i picked a spot and how fortunate, i did a 50-50 and i didnt spot THAT mine!!!! and that's how it became me 1, serm 26. =(

alright... i juz had to blog this.

ciao!



janet at 2:43 AM