Saturday, February 12, 2005
i'm glad that my old friends think of me sometimes. the same way i miss them sometimes too.
friends are like phases in life, that we go through, and sometimes we just leave them behind. they're like photos. it feels fun and good when u're taking the photo, and then u develop them and put them all in this photo album away in the cabinet. then after some time, u'll take them out and look at them again. get what i'm trying to say? for some people, the photo is kept in the wallet, or in the diary, somewhere close and personal to them and they carry it wherever they go. for me, friends happen to be photos in a photo album. i can't seem to carry them all along with me in my wallet.
i'm very guilty of saying "hey, we haven't met up for so long, let's go out sometime and catch up" and then time just passes.
it's like when i've moved on from primary school to seconday school, i thought weiting and me will be friends forever? nah. we send each other birthday cards and write letters and after a while, that stopped. but we managed to find each other on friendster. we message once in a while. but that's that.
and when i moved on from secondary school to jc, i thought sarah, agnes and me will be as close as ever. nah. we drifted. as much as i hate to admit, i haven't seen agnes since the oriental hotel thing, which is now more than 1.5 years back. and sheryl? lol. i don't even remember why we hate her anymore.
in sec school, i used to hang out with this bunch of people i.e. jm, daryl, ziyao, tony, jiawang, mark, jj, shaun, qw, glenn, weiting (meow), agnes, sarah and i really can't remember who. i was sec 3 then. happen to know this bunch of guys from the school irc channel. totally happening i must say. they were the only senior guy friends i had then. minus jj, shaun, qw, glenn. qw wasn't even from haising. and there was KC. that's how i got to know qw. every friday after school, without fail, we'll go to whitesands coffeebean and hang and waste $5 and the afternoon away on coffee. hang out at timezone during the weekends playing DDR (ya lar damn lianish i know) and the guys play time crisis and daytona and DDR too lol. it was fun. can't remember what exactly happened that me, agnes and sarah juz stop hanging with them. i think it was the breakup of jj and agnes. totally drama mama. anyway, i've left them behind too. maybe occasionally i'll see shaun. alright, not occasionally. like once a year? ahhh... sucks. my best memories of haising days belong to this paragraph.
then i moved on to jc. 2 years passed so fast. and now it's uni. the 7 of us are everywhere. jean and jo in aust. mel in smu. yuxin and cindy in ntu. yizi and i in nus. i feel ashamed that i don't even meet yizi up for lunch in school.
now, the hall pple. the blk pple. the seniors. last year, we were close like... i dunno what. this year, the bunch of us is shrinking. and i don't like that. though it's inevitable.
judging from the pattern of my life, i foresee that i will gradually leave the hall friends behind. but i really don't want to. cuz everytime i make new friends, close friends, i never meant to leave them behind and put them in the photo album and juz flip it when i feel bored.
and jy. i think i depended on him too much too. it's almost the bf theory. when i needed to go out, i'd asked him. i really didn't bother asking sarah, or agnes, or even with the jc girls. but then, things happened such that i no longer practise the bf theory. and it's hard to revert back normal life with juz normal friends. and i'm really not the active kind of friend.
argh. do u get what i'm trying to say? i don't even know what i'm typing anymore. i really suck sometimes.
janet at 1:46 AM
